{30 days} of thankful : day 22

as they tend to be for many, november & december were filled to the brim for us. i think we partook in 3 thanksgiving dinners before turkey/tofu day arrived. and that was just the start. lots of Christmas parties and dinners with friends. baking, shopping, serving. lots of good things, some days of feeling on the verge of crazy. and overall, a picture of the rich community we have been cultivating here, celebrating the people we have come to call friends.

i tend to be impatient with the ebb and flow of the calendar. early january is always hard: going back to work, the quietness of our house after being in a full house for Christmas, & the slowing of the social calendar. these all make these first few weeks of the year feel a little lonely and, dare i say, a tad boring. amidst all of the excitement of a new year, i can easily fall into moments of doubt about "what am i doing?" and "what am i doing here?" ... you get the picture. {as i think about it, i'm pretty sure God's grace provided me with a late-January birthday to anticipate during these slow weeks. thank you, Lord, for knowing me.}

all of this makes yesterday that much more manna to my soul. we spent the whole day with friends, bouncing from one home to the next. our family lunch gathering stretching into the afternoon up until a party to celebrate an upcoming birth, which was followed by shared football spectatorship until my exhaustion kicked in. as if to say, sweet child, why do you doubt? taste and see My blessings all around. to which i respond, thank you.

i am also thankful for the strong reminder & encouragement at church this morning that comfort, while not inherently bad, is not the pinnacle of our lives. my recognition of God's blessings is also a call to serve, to reach out, to bring comfort to others.

how i feel in a moment - whether discomfort in serving or doubt in the ebb and flow of the seasons - isn't necessarily the truth. yes, my emotions are valid, but as i saw yesterday, feeling unsure of relationships had no bearing on the fact that, yes, i do have good & growing community of friends. as one of my favorite alison krauss songs says, sometimes we must go by faith not what you feel.

- katie anne

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