roasted chicken + letting go of labels

this past summer marked the end of nearly 8 years as a vegetarian for me. i had been wrestling with and mulling over that decision for a while, going back an forth between the part of my identity as a vegetarian and my desire to focus more on whole, local foods instead of proteins that were processed and had lots of food miles. i've loved being a vegetarian for many reasons, and making major changes is really difficult, so i spent many months tossing around the idea of dropping the label of vegetarian without doing anything about it. the moment that marked the change was born out of hunger (not the visit to nearby Polyface Farms that i had envisioned). we were in the midst of our 3 weeks in between leases and couldn't really face another meal of quinoa, veggies, and scrambled eggs; so after a quick trip to the Organic Butcher and a rather lackluster baked chicken + veggie dinner, well, what am i ?!

am i a partial-vegetarian (like i was from age 12-21)? a whole-foodie? a conscientious eater? a locavore? i'm not quite sure where i fit (although for simplicity, i still identify as a vegetarian in many situations to make things more straightforward). i focus on eating healthy, whole foods that are primarily locally-sourced and now include pastured poultry and eggs. my food choices are impacted by my consideration of taste and enjoyment, health, the livelihood of farmers in my community, and the environmental impact of agriculture (petroleum-based fertilizers and pesticides and oil used to transport food thousands of miles: no thank you). i'm not trying to be a food snob, rather someone who recognizes that my choices aren't made in a vacuum.

two weekends ago, i roasted a whole chicken, born + raised + slaughtered on the farm of our dear friends, the Lykoshes. they have a pretty incredible story about leaving their comfortable life in boulder, co, a couple of years ago (along with their 4 young boys) to follow God's call to start a farm in central va. they would be some of the first people to tell you how difficult farming is, but despite the challenges, they farm with integrity and passion. their chickens are fed soy-free feed and roam around their farm, living out the fullness of their chicken-hood. the Lykoshes. also, they taste damn good (or "beyond good" to use tim's words).

                                        i am {a little too} happy holding a raw chicken!

{Roasted Chicken Recipe}
* for a 3-4 lb whole chicken. total prep + roasting time = about 4 hours, mostly hands-off, leaving plenty of time to watch football with your husband + prepare the rest of your meal.

step 1. brine the chicken. {cook's illustrated has the sciency background + directions here}
 * in a very large pot, fill with 1 - 1.5 gallons of cold water. add 1 cup table salt + 1 cup sugar per gallon. stir vigorously until salt + sugar are dissolved.
* place the whole chicken in the brine solution, making sure it is completely submerged.
* put in the fridge to let the brine do it's thing {1-2 hours should be about right}
* call your mom to tell her you survived holding a raw chicken. and kinda liked it.

okay, i'm still a little wary of raw meat. 

step 2. the rub {adapted from here}
*combine: 2 tsp sea salt, 1 tsp paprika, 3/4 tsp cayenne pepper, 1/2 tsp onion powder, 1/2 tsp thyme, 1/4 tsp garlic powder, and 1/4 tsp ground black pepper.
* roughly chop a small-medium white onion.
* when the chicken is done brining, preheat oven to 450F.
* on a roasting pan or rimmed baking sheet {apparently not a glass dish. mine cracked in half}, rub extra-virgin olive oil on the chicken, followed by the rub inside + out. stuff the onion inside the chicken.

step 3: the roast
* roast for about 1 hour, and let the bird sit for 15-20 minutes before carving.
* check the chicken after 25 minutes, and call your mom to get her opinion. follow her suggestion to make a foil "tent" if the spices are getting too brown or smoky. rotate the pan once. baste with juices, if you have a baster.
* ENJOY! {and then make sure to save the carcass to make stock!}

                                          {silly picture of my chicken-happy self}


katie anne

p.s.
{if you're interested in learning more about food choices, eating locally, and the impact of industrial food systems on people and the environment - check out a couple of my favorite books: the omnivore's dilemma and in defense of food by michael pollan and animal, vegetable, miracle by barbara kingsolver, as well as my recent post about tomatoland}

keep walking

lately it seems that nearly everyone i talk to is waiting for something. whether it's news about a job interview or a medical procedure, the arrival of a due date (i am surrounded by lots of first-time pregnant ladies), or for depth to develop in friendships; i think we can all agree: waiting is hard. i found this poem several months ago, while anticipating the unknown future after tim's graduation. i'm encouraged to continue walking in faith, focusing more on the here+now rather than the future. i'm relieved to name the fear that can well up within me, when i start trying to figure out the future, which is not for me to grasp. it's always apparent afterward how much growth and beauty comes from waiting... and the challenge is to live out that hope in the process.

keep walking, though there's no place to get to.

don't try to see through the distances,

that's not for human beings.

move within, but don't move the way fear makes you move.

today, like every other day, we wake up empty and frightened.

don't open the door to the study and begin reading.

take down a musical instrument.

let the beauty we love be what we do.

there are hundreds of ways to kneel and kiss the ground.

                                 {rumi}

katie anne

tomatoland

tomatoes are EVERYWHERE: from caprese salads to ketchup on your french fries; thick slices on sandwiches and pureed for my homemade pizza sauce; they form the basis for many favorites like spaghetti with marinara and tomato soup with grilled cheese sandwiches. in salsa? in a pie or crumble? fried green? there is certainly no lack of creativity and variety.

my favorite part of tomatoes is the variety, which you absolutely won't see in a supermarket and sadly will have to wait until next summer's farmer's market to appreciate. they run the spectrum from deep purple to ruby red, orange, yellow, and (some of my favorites) mr stripy and green zebras.

i'm in the middle of reading a book that i can't not share - TOMATOLAND by barry estabrook. in the words of the quote on the front cover: "If you have ever eaten a tomato – or ever plan to – you must read Tomatoland" (ruth reichl). so, i'm going to take some time to share what is uncovered in this book. it's difficult to read (i've cried), but ignorance is not an excuse for participating in slavery, human trafficking, and untold human abuses (not to mention assaults on the environment). my hope is that as you read this, you will be encouraged to take some time to think about the impact your food choices have in the big picture. i recognize that everyone can't afford (or even find) local and/or organic food; however, i believe that those of us who can have a responsibility to work toward positive change for people (and the earth) that can't fight for that themselves. and in the process, maybe our taste buds will thank us, too. my hope is that the more we know, the more we are empowered to make decisions that will bring freedom and life (and FLAVOR!), not just near-sighted cost-saving choices about what we eat.

{the book}


Estabrook chronicles the tomato industry in Florida, which provides most conventional "market fresh" tomatoes year-round (as opposed to California's industry, which provides most tomatoes for canning and has more regulations protecting workers & controlling pesticide use). these tomatoes are picked as underripe, hard, green orbs able to survive being moved and shipped for thousands of miles. they turn reddish when exposed to ethylene gas (it's a hormone that tomatoes naturally excrete in the ripening process. this artificial process gives color but sadly not flavor), and have a shelf-life of about 3 weeks. the Florida Growers Exchange has uber-strict standards about size, smoothness, shape, and color... but notably absent from that list is a consideration of flavor.

the companies that grow tomatoes operate things by hiring Crew Bosses, who in turn hire the actual farm workers. many of these people are migrant workers, often undocumented, following the lure of making decent money to send back to their family in Mexico or Central America. despite their illegal/undocumented status in the US, these are HUMAN BEINGS. made in God's image, just like you and me. there are no excuses for how these people are often treated in the large agribusiness world. between 1997 - 2009, over 1,000 men and women have been freed from slavery in 7 cases. not slave-like conditions or hard work, but human trafficking. slavery. in our nation in the 21st century. for more information about a really amazing coalition of people fighting for better treatment, check out the Coalition of Imokolee Workers (and consider letting YOUR grocery store know that you care).

these folks are also regularly subject to intentional and neglectful exposure to lethal pesticides, including methyl bromide, an extremely toxic chemical that has been phased out by most nations, but is still permitted for tomato and strawberry farming. I find it hard to quite understand pesticide exposure, but one worker in the book described it as being "Just like somebody had taken a big old can of Raid and looked at me and sprayed it right in my face full blast and never stopped until it got empty" (p. 63). this pesticide has been linked with severe birth defects (limbless babies) and infant deaths. horrible, just horrible.

fortunately, there is hope. there are (a few) men and women fighting through law and education and housing to protect basic human rights in agriculture. there are organic and local farms that pay living wages and either don't use pesticides or use them safely. several fast food and food industry businesses have signed on to the CIW's Campaign for Fair Food (incl. Mickey D's, Burger King, Whole Foods, Yum! Brands; sadly few grocery stores).

this issue goes beyond tomatoes: this is just one example of the hidden abuses that are beginning to be brought to life... and how our small choices have big impacts.


katie anne

sources: Tomatoland by Barry Estabrook. Andrew McMeel Publishing: Kansas City, 2011.
              and THIS article also by Estabrook
photos: tim padalino at the charlottesville city market. 2010.

rock.

there is a tantruming kid in the waiting area outside of my office. i've never heard anyone wail NNNOOOOOOoooo" in quite the same way, with such volume and variety. he's probably about 4 or 5, and he is out. of. control. i don't know enough about this child to really know what is going on with him, but one thing is for sure: he is unsteady, ungrounded, flailing at life.

this past weekend, i was that kid. no, i wasn't screaming and yelling and disobeying everything my mom said. but, in my heart, i was flailing around, unsteadied and overwhelmed by things around me. it hit me this morning during breakfast - my eyes have been on the frustrating things in life: job, not going anywhere for labor day weekend, planning an event for church... the list could go on for a while. i've been short tempered and selfish, my vision is short-sighted.

{wow, the kid just left. it is unbelievably quiet in here now ... crazy as it sounds, it was hard to fully appreciate his volume until he left. oh no, just kidding. he's back.}

like this screaming kid, if i'm not grounding myself in something secure and firm, then i will be rocked by everything that comes my way, like a boat at sea. this weekend, i lost sight of God's goodness as my foothold. so the reminder this morning that He sees and knows me, and has my good in mind was life-giving {and attitude-changing, for sure}.

                        "He alone is my rock and salvation, my fortress; i shall not be shaken."
                                                                                                          {psalm 62.2}

katie anne

september and an ode to baking trays.

dear september,
      i'm glad you are here. august has been a busy and, well, interesting month to say the least.  like many east-coasters, i experienced my first earthquake and the subsequent aftershocks {c'ville is a mere 30 miles from the epicenter}. we had visits from both sets of in-laws, celebrated Tim's 27th birthday {complete with the first layer cake i've ever baked}, and took a weekend trip to the desert to visit my sister. work has gotten busy. not great, but for now i'm settling for busy at work.

and so, in honor of september's beginning, i am sharing a toast to my rimmed baking sheet. no real connection, really. just an excuse to share some of the many ways i enjoy my baking sheet with you. please don't get too bored already.

b l u e b e r r i e s / b l u e t s

earlier this summer, our CSA was selling 10-lb boxes of low-spray blueberries. um, yes please. i bought two boxes, but only because i have a small freezer. we'll be eating tasty blueberries all winter long, thanks to the ease of freezing berries. simply spread them out in a single layer on a rimmed baking sheet, put in the freezer for a few hours, then transfer to a gallon-sized freezer bag. easy enough! just make sure to remove any stems or mushy berries. use frozen berries in baking and smoothies or thaw overnight for an antioxidant-rich breakfast topping.

t o m a t o e s  |  h e i r l o o m / g r a p e / y e l l o w

for some reason this summer, i have not had an appetite for raw tomatoes. so, i had to turn to some of my favorite food blogs for some inspiration in using the overabundance of tomatoes we have had this month.

item 1: roasted grape / cherry tomatoes are delicious on pretty much everything, from salads to sandwiches to quinoa dishes. did i mention they are also super easy? step 1: rinse and pat dry. step 2: slice in half. step 3. toss lightly in olive oil and salt. step 4: slow roast at 300F for about 30-40 minutes. that is it. and they keep in the fridge for several days.

item 2: roasted tomato soup from here. yum. i served it with quiche and homemade bread. and once again, thanks to my baking sheet for once again serving up roasted veggie goodness, which this time, got blenderized. {those are some of the yellow tomatoes i mentioned earlier. so sweet and good.}

h a z e l n u t s / f i l b e r t s

sadly, no picture here. but seriously, freshly roasted hazelnuts are beyond good. again, the process is really simple: heat the oven to 325F. spread the hazelnuts on a rimmed baking sheet and roast for 30ish minutes. keep an eye on them - they will fill your kitchen with their earthy aroma and the skins start to crackle and loosen up when they are ready. once done, let them cool for a bit, and if you're up for an annoying, but satisfying challenge, rub the skins off with your hands or a clean kitchen towel. eat 'em straight; on cereal {our favorite, with fresh fruit and greek yogurt}; on salads; or even ravioli pasta salads. aaaand, you're welcome.

enjoy! autumn is on it's way!

katie anne

a mid-summer tart.

around the time that tim and i started dating, we discovered a tart cherry tree in the front yard of my rental house {as well as some heavily laden cherry trees on the property of a rather eccentric abandoned building that we definitely partook from}. the result: a version of this tart, which we lovingly named our early summer tart. our favorite version included our tart cherries and local blueberries and peaches.

 i love my memories of sweating in the hot summer kitchen making dough, while tim stirred the "gelatinous fruit" over the stove and then sharing the results with friends, neighbors, and in-town visitors. we had a business plan to slang pieces of our hyper-local tart downtown for an exorbitant price after the bars let out, but failed to make that happen. hmm... now that i think about it, we could use a little extra cash these days.

last Saturday, we had our HOUSEWARMING PARTY! sadly, we took no pictures, but our little house was overflowing with new and old{ish} friends, colliding circles that remind me what a small city we live in, a few shrieking toddlers, and lots of delicious potluck dishes. we had so so much fun - it was good for our souls be surrounded by friends and to be thankful for our far-from-perfect life here. it was a neat realization of how settled and at home we are here in charlottesville. my heart has expanded for the people i've met here so far, and it's hard to think i've only been here for barely over a year.

it felt only right to share our favorite fruit tart, with the local fruit bounty of the heart of summer. and amongst all the desserts, every last bite was gobbled up!

A MID-SUMMER TART !
* i prefer to make the dough a day or so in advance; since it needs to chill and rest in the fridge for at least an hour, roll out, chill again, bake, and then cool, the prep time really adds up. you can even bake the crust a day ahead if needed. feel free to use your favorite tried-and-true, but i prefer all-butter crusts, which is what you'll find here.

for the crust {from rustic fruit desserts}: makes 2 pie/tart crusts
* 2 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
* 1 1/2 Tbsp evaporated cane juice {or sugar}
* 1 cup {2 sticks} cold unsalted butter
* 3/4 tsp. fine sea salt
* 1/2 cup ice water {or more, as needed}
* 1 Tbsp freshly squeezed lemon juice

In a medium bowl, combine the flour, salt, and sugar, and then place the bowl in the freezer for 10 minutes to let it get very cold. {tip: at any point in the process, if the dough starts warming up, let it rest and chill in the freezer for several minutes and then resume. not sure why, but cold is good.}

Cut the cold butter into 1/2 inch cubes and add to flour mixture, tossing to evenly coat. Using your hands {my preference}, pastry blender, or food processor, cut the butter into the mixture until the dough becomes coarse and crumbly. The butter should be pea-sized.

Combine the water and lemon juice, then drizzle about half of it over the dough, using a fork to combine. You want the dough to be "shaggy" - not very wet - but able to hold together when squeezed. Add more water, 1 Tbsp at a time, as needed {I added all of the water + lemon juice}. Lightly flour your work surface, and turn the dough out on the surface. working gently, fold the dough over itself a few times until combined, avoiding overworking. divide the dough in half, shaping each half into a 1-in thick disk. wrap in plastic wrap and chill for an hour. {storage: if wrapped well, the disks will keep in the fridge for 3 days and in the freezer for 3 months. just remove disk from freezer and let thaw overnight.}

after chilling, roll pastry dough out on a floured surface to fit 9" or 10" tart {or pie} pan. place it gently in the pan, and make sure to fill in any holes in the dough. let it chill for 30-60 minutes {see, i told you prep time is long}. preheat oven to 375. when ready to bake, cover tart pan with foil and use pie weights {or dried beans} and bake for 35-40 minutes. remove foil and weights, and bake for 10-15 more minutes. let cool before adding filling.


for the filling {adapted from Sundays at Moosewood Restaurant}
* 5 cups of the fruit {or combinations} of your choice, fresh or frozen, cut into bite-sized pieces. this time of year, i use yellow or white peaches, nectarines, and/or blueberries i froze earlier in the summer. tart cherries are also delicious.
* 1/4 cup sugar
* 1 Tbsp. cornstarch dissolved in 2 Tbsp water.
* 2 Tbsp. water
* zest of one lemon {optional - really good with blueberries}

heat 2 cups of the fruit, sugar, and water in a small saucepan over med-low heat. stir occasionally and use your spoon to crush some of the fruit to release some of their juices. when the fruit has softened {5ish minutes}, add the cornstarch mixture. simmer on low heat for about 10 minutes, stirring occasionally. if anything starts sticking, dial the heat back for a bit and stir well. turn the heat off and gently fold in the remaining fruit. pour the berry mixture into the baked tart shell. if you have more patience than me, let cool for an hour {it'll be easier to cut and serve, but i confess, you can't beat a scoop of ice cream over a still-wam slice}.

serve with a scoop of vanilla bean ice cream or dollop of fresh whipped cream. any leftovers will keep best covered in the refrigerator.


katie anne

* sad disclaimer: we cannot seem to find any pictures of the many tarts we've made, and as i mentioned, we didn't take any pictures at the housewarming party. trying to work on the photo-thing, i promise.

hope deferred

the writer of the Psalms says that "hope deferred makes the heart sick." my favorite author, perhaps more accurately, says that disappointment feels to her as if she took a swift kick to the stomach. {sigh} it's been that kind of a week.

let me start at the {semi} beginning. about a month ago, i took a new position with my agency with high hopes of this being a rewarding, challenging, growing job. this was especially exciting since my job last year - my first post-graduate school job as a real counselor - left much to be desired. oh, and i should mention at the outset that me getting this job was pretty much the reason we decided {and were able} to stay in charlottesville. big decision, lots of things seemed to really be falling into place. i was excited.

and then, my job description changed to take me off of the crisis intervention team to be an "independent assessor" with the task of helping prevent Medicaid fraud. also, during the first week of the assessment center being open we had exactly ZERO appointments. none. then one of my co-workers resigned. bleh. let's just say, i felt discouraged like a punch in the stomach. WHAT IS THE POINT HERE?!

I'd like to say there's a happy ending here, but at this point nothing at work is changing and so that leaves me to walk this road right now. and i wonder, what does it look like to be a hopeful, life-giving woman in the midst of disappointment? to be freed from bitterness, resignation, and constant frustration?

to begin with, i believe that remaining a soft, hopeful woman requires honesty with ourselves about where the disappointment is coming from and the longing that is underneath it. not like "my boss is terrible and work sucks and now my life is miserable." instead, i think our hearts need to reflect something along these lines: "gosh, i feel so let down. i desire for my work to be meaningful - to build relationships and participate in the restoration of people's lives. i've worked hard for my education and in past work experiences to have positive opportunities, and i hoped this job would be a space to grow and help others as a counselor. it is so sad that things have changed and that right now, my job is not only unsatisfying but also doesn't have much purpose or meaning. i want so much more."

it's taken me a few weeks to utter those words, and even so, i keep having to remind myself of this to get out of self-pity and frustration. so now what?

this is the part i'm still learning and figuring out. it will {hopefully} look like lots of prayerful moments seeking the face of the One who alone can satisfy my heart more than the perfect job ever could. it will include asking the Father for enough trust to believe that He fully knows and cares for me and the desires I have for a meaningful vocation and will provide a means to live out those desires. and in this time, i hope to have eyes to see and soak in the beauty and truth and love around me to carry me through this disappointment.

this daily bread looks like lots of different things. this week, it's included holding a dear friends 2-day old daughter and marveling at her toes and nose and at the strength of her mother; encouraging words from a friend; seeing a rainbow {yes, cheesy example - but it was so neat!} on the way to hang out with some amazing ladies; laughing with a coworker; and hanging pictures in our house. these are my invitations to remember God's faithful and strong love and that one day i'll experience the fullness of His love and beauty.

and until then, i will hope.

katie anne