{30 days} of thankful : day 21

short + sweet tonight:
  
today i'm thankful for ... a busy, productive day at work {even one in which i was named a superuser, meaning that between now and july i'll be trained to train my less-than-computer-savvy coworkers on how to use our agency's new electronic health record software/system. hopefully that will be good resume material someday}

    ... for some prospects on moving forward more quickly toward licensure + growth as a counselor

    ... for dominating the elliptical in my post-work workout.

    ... for a new episode of parks + recreation


staying warm,
  katie anne

{30 days} of thankful : day 20 !

today is a cold, rainy, + overall dreary day. the perfect day to stay inside: curled up on the couch + under a blanket {definitely NOT going to the gym}. it's raining so hard outside that if it were only 5-10 degrees colder, we'd be snowed in for DAYS!! {ah, wishful thinking!}

so, tonight {on the couch + under a blanket} we watched another episode of Human Planet. in a word: incredible. seriously awe-inspiring. thank you, BBC. granted, we tend to geek out about Planet Earth + the arrival of our monthly National Geographic issue in the mail. but this is seriously good. do yourself the favor of checking it out, if you have the opportunity.

One of the many things I love about this program is the chance to watch people whose lives are undistractedly focused on survival, on the here + now. no time to worry about the future: today's concerns are enough. and certainly no time to worry about new clothes or facebook or what my life will be in a year + a half, and enough already with politics and the dow jones. 

the summer after i graduated college, i spent 45 days sleeping in a tent in the wilds of NW Canada. it was surely one of the most amazing experiences of my life, and as i think back on it, i can't help but almost miss the undivided focus on each day's tasks: cooking + eating, not losing anything, paddling x miles to point b, packing + unpacking, sleep. it took a while to get used to the pace + to just be, but by the end it was scary to face the reality of going back to the real world.

i'm not sure how to recreate that focus, that here/now-ness that i experienced and that i witness on Human Planet, in the lives of people living in the remote corners and peaks and jungles of the earth. but i am convinced that there is LIFE in that perspective + way of life. and for a glimpse + reminder of that tonight, i am thankful.

katie anne

{30 days} of thankful : day 19

i think i'm starting to see gratitude as a way of looking at the world creep into my way of thinking + being. not always for sure, but it's showing up in small ways, in the little things.

here are a few things i'm thankful for today:

    my riff on THIS soup recipe (from this beautiful book) on a day that has been nothing if not a day for eating soup {our precipitation included rain, sleet, slush, + snow}.

    THIS banana bread, which is warm and filling our home up with it's smells {but won't be eaten until tomorrow, when we can share it with friends}

   THIS book, which is admittedly rough around the edges, but so authentic and, hmm, absorbing, engaging, delicious.


katie anne

{30 days} of thankful : day 18

today i'm thankful for dusk. yes, dusk. maybe it's that i'm leaving work and arriving home at that time, or that minute by minute each day is getting a teensy bit longer. for some reason this week, the gentle quieting of the onset of evening has been a balm to my spirit.

one of the downsides to our home is that it takes a bit longer to get anywhere. an extra 15 minutes isn't much in the scheme of things, but in a city like charlottesville, it often more than doubles the drive. but, it is a glorious drive home. past grazing cows and horses, a golf course and ponds, past sweeping oaks and large old homes, up and down hills and right into the sunset. yesterday, the train was speeding past our house just as i was curving up the driveway, backdropped by glowing orange skies. today after work, i took my tea and just sat, soaking in the early light of the moon, the peach and purple-ish skies. at the end of a long week, it felt refreshing.

i am thankful.

katie anne

{30 days} of thankful : day 17

when i started this whole {30 days}, my mom sent me a chapter from a book she is reading on thankfulness. although i struggle to fullly grasp the significance of being thankful, this chapter brought depth and a big-picture context to this practice. it also offered insight into why gratitude isn't often easy & why it certainly isn't often my default-mode of responding to things.

coming back to work after the holidays has been really difficult {surprise, surprise}. i had a brief taste of purpose + busyness + actually doing therapy before Christmas... and it was good. and now, just like that, things are right back to boring same old, same old. i can feel this dragging me down, and am realizing as i write, that this is why i started {30} days to begin with. to choose a different path for my heart, to resist getting dragged down.

- - -
so, i'd like to share some excerpts that stand out to me from brian mclaren's naked spirituality, from a chapter entitled "Thanks: Dayenu - Enough and More, and More"

"Ingratitide makes us foolishly forget the fragility of our skin and proudly deny our dependency and interconnectedness. If true spirituality and authentic religion are about vital interconnectedness, you can see how essential the practice of gratitude must be. ...

"When we awaken to the addictive slavery of our contemporary never-enough system, we too want to go on a journey of liberation, and we too want to develop a humility of chracter enriched by daily dependence and daily gratitude, true thankfulness for daily bread. ...

"Like the sparrows flying overhead or the day lilies blooming beside the roadway, we live within creaturely limits, and we depend for our survival on resources outside of ourselves. the awareness of our creaturely limitations, dependence, and vulnerability doesn't make us less happy, Jesus suggests; it actually increases our happiness. It liberates us from the addictive drives of the never-enough system: more food, more drink, more clothes - always more, more, more. it liberates us to see ourselves as God's beloved creatures within God's creation instead of as self-made consumers in a self-made economic system.

"If we seek for other words to stand alongside the simple word thanks in expressing gratitude, i think one would be again, because one of the greatest obstacles to gratitude is the sheer bounty of God's generosity. ... So when I notice that I've been taking these gifts for granted... I rededicate myself to the practice of gratitude: "Again, God, again you have blessed me. Again, I savor this gift. Again I appreciate. Again I say thanks. Again. Again."

- - -
oh. again, today, i say thanks for a home, a paying job, a car, and warm clothes on this cold January day. I say thanks for a husband and church and family and friends. for oxygen, mountains, a full stomach, quenched thirst. for the memory of days of fulfilling work, and the hope of that to come.

katie anne

Source: Brian McLaren (2011). Naked Spirituality: A Life with God in 12 Simple Words. pages 57-62.

{30 days} of thankful : day 16

as my extended vacation draws to a close {i've worked all of 1 day in the past 11 days!}, i find myself thankful for many, many things over these past several days.

i am thankful for ... a brief 20 minutes of snow this afternoon, while soup simmered on the stovetop.

    ... that today's date is 1.2.12

    ... for today, unlike yesterday, not finding a mouse nest built on top of hanging clothes in the closet.

    ... for our quiet celebration at home on new year's eve {and for the delicious pan seared scallops & balsamic roasted root vegetable dinner we savored!}

    ... for last night's sunset, which lit up the glowing pink bottoms of puffy rows of clouds, which reminded me of God's comfort and presence.

    ... and for the outtakes from our family photo over Christmas!

katie anne

{30 days} of thankful : day 15

hello, twenty twelve. you just roll off my tongue. it's nice to be here.

as i sit down to type, i confess i don't have any great retrospective or forward-looking thoughts, as we say goodbye to 2011 and begin the new year. i'm excited for the year ahead - my thirtieth. i love getting my new planner and flipping through the pages of weeks, wondering how they will be filled up with adventures and grocery shopping, parties and dentist appointments. 

and at the same time, a part of me is apprehensive about what the year will hold. so much of this past year was filled with circumstantial uncertainties, and although we now have a very settled life with 2 full time jobs and a lovely {rental} home... i suppose the "normalcy" of our lives now doesn't yet feel like our normal. it's hard to even imagine a year without moving or beginning & ending school semesters or changing job situations. perhaps this year {for now, at least. who knows what's in store!} is about embracing and enjoying the now, instead of looking ahead to events and changes. maybe it's about learning to live and explore the life we have here, without being "new" or "in transition." 

a few years ago, i heard a really neat sermon at the turn of the year. the speaker, who was a guest pastor at my church, spoke on remembering as a crucial element of knowing & trusting God. i assert that remembering is a crucial aspect of being human. he spoke from isaiah 63:7-14, which recounts the faithful interventions of God for His people, even in the midst of their shortcomings and ridiculousness. 

                   "i will recount the gracious deeds of the LORD, the praiseworthy acts of the LORD,  

                    because of all that the LORD has done for us, 

                    and the great favor to the house of Israel that he has shown them 

                    according to his mercy, 

                    according to the abundance of his steadfast love." {isaiah 63:7}

the hebrew word for "steadfast love" is hessid, which translates as "God's loyalty and love for His chosen people." and it is abundant. 

thankfulness, gratitude. these words seem to fall short right now. in the midst of looking back on the year behind and dealing with anticipation about the unknowns of the year ahead, God's loyal, steadfast love is abundant + great + full of mercy. i experienced this in 2011 as peace throughout months of a totally unknown & unplanned future. this remembering is what i carry with me as i embark into 2012. this hessid is what i know + try to hold onto.

and for this i am truly thankful today.

katie anne