{30 days} of thankful : day 1

my hunch was spot on.

i had a feeling a few days ago, when i decided to embark on this challenge to turn my heart toward gratitude, that this might be difficult. the phrase "a sacrifice of praise" came to mind. what i didn't expect, though, was how quickly i might be challenged. last night and today were discouraging in some ways, which i won't get into now, and my heart isn't all bubbly or happy, or really even wanting to focus on gratitude. but, it was definitely good for me to think about the things i can be thankful for as i moved throughout my day.

today i am thankful for ... my friend Sue, who works at our CSA pickup site. she responded to my grumbling about the windy, cold rain by gently reminding me that at least it wasn't colder, like a night last year when the rain turned to ice on the produce waiting to be taken home. (she also gave me a good deal on apples!)

    ... and for the rabbit hopping alongside my driveway when i got home, no doubt seeking shelter from the storm.

    ... and for phone calls with BOTH of my sisters today !!!

peace,

katie anne

{30 days} of thankful

a thankful heart prepares the way for you, my God.

this line from an old Waterdeep song keeps finding its way into my mind these days. that's not the natural direction of my mind + heart these days, as i more easily find myself tired + overwhelmed, in disbelief at how time is quickly flying by, apathetic about work, and trying to find the spare time for a trip to the grocery store. {oh yeah, did i mention worrying about car insurance after hitting a deer and continually bandaging my leg from a recent dog bite?}

and then on sunday, God's abundant grace took me off guard when i least expected it, and definitely did not deserve it. yesterday was a rare, busy day for our church, that came at the end of a busy week + overnight trip to NC. after getting to church early for a meeting, i was whole-heartedly resistant + negative about the idea of going to the evening baptism + dinner service. but i went. more out of obligation than anything else. and there, in the midst of a dunking pool + very random potluck dinner, my heart was nourished with songs of hope and refreshing conversation with good friends, who know my stories, struggles, and joys.

i can only conclude that there is much to be thankful for, even on the days i cannot seem to muster up much gratitude.

i was thinking about all of this on my drive to work this morning. and i remembered a time during a really difficult season of life when i had this tiny notebook in which i wrote 3 things everyday. they were 3 things to be thankful for, 3 good things. some days, those things were tiny, seemingly insignificant things. and yet, that practice, a tiny notebook that recorded when i heard a great song on the radio and had someone say hello on a sidewalk, it was part of what carried me through.

so now, december 2011, in the midst of a jam-packed + busy season and in anticipation of Christmas, i want to renew that practice of thankfulness, to open my eyes to the goodness around me, and to share that with you. i know this whole "30 days of ..." is no original idea of mine: i've seen many people blogging or facebooking about such things {and it is difficult for me to copy others' ideas}.

the challenge: to record something for which i give thanks each day for 30 days.

i am hopeful for how my heart will change during this season of thankfulness. i desire new eyes to see goodness + beauty around me. i expect to need grace for the process.


katie anne

roasted chicken + letting go of labels

this past summer marked the end of nearly 8 years as a vegetarian for me. i had been wrestling with and mulling over that decision for a while, going back an forth between the part of my identity as a vegetarian and my desire to focus more on whole, local foods instead of proteins that were processed and had lots of food miles. i've loved being a vegetarian for many reasons, and making major changes is really difficult, so i spent many months tossing around the idea of dropping the label of vegetarian without doing anything about it. the moment that marked the change was born out of hunger (not the visit to nearby Polyface Farms that i had envisioned). we were in the midst of our 3 weeks in between leases and couldn't really face another meal of quinoa, veggies, and scrambled eggs; so after a quick trip to the Organic Butcher and a rather lackluster baked chicken + veggie dinner, well, what am i ?!

am i a partial-vegetarian (like i was from age 12-21)? a whole-foodie? a conscientious eater? a locavore? i'm not quite sure where i fit (although for simplicity, i still identify as a vegetarian in many situations to make things more straightforward). i focus on eating healthy, whole foods that are primarily locally-sourced and now include pastured poultry and eggs. my food choices are impacted by my consideration of taste and enjoyment, health, the livelihood of farmers in my community, and the environmental impact of agriculture (petroleum-based fertilizers and pesticides and oil used to transport food thousands of miles: no thank you). i'm not trying to be a food snob, rather someone who recognizes that my choices aren't made in a vacuum.

two weekends ago, i roasted a whole chicken, born + raised + slaughtered on the farm of our dear friends, the Lykoshes. they have a pretty incredible story about leaving their comfortable life in boulder, co, a couple of years ago (along with their 4 young boys) to follow God's call to start a farm in central va. they would be some of the first people to tell you how difficult farming is, but despite the challenges, they farm with integrity and passion. their chickens are fed soy-free feed and roam around their farm, living out the fullness of their chicken-hood. the Lykoshes. also, they taste damn good (or "beyond good" to use tim's words).

                                        i am {a little too} happy holding a raw chicken!

{Roasted Chicken Recipe}
* for a 3-4 lb whole chicken. total prep + roasting time = about 4 hours, mostly hands-off, leaving plenty of time to watch football with your husband + prepare the rest of your meal.

step 1. brine the chicken. {cook's illustrated has the sciency background + directions here}
 * in a very large pot, fill with 1 - 1.5 gallons of cold water. add 1 cup table salt + 1 cup sugar per gallon. stir vigorously until salt + sugar are dissolved.
* place the whole chicken in the brine solution, making sure it is completely submerged.
* put in the fridge to let the brine do it's thing {1-2 hours should be about right}
* call your mom to tell her you survived holding a raw chicken. and kinda liked it.

okay, i'm still a little wary of raw meat. 

step 2. the rub {adapted from here}
*combine: 2 tsp sea salt, 1 tsp paprika, 3/4 tsp cayenne pepper, 1/2 tsp onion powder, 1/2 tsp thyme, 1/4 tsp garlic powder, and 1/4 tsp ground black pepper.
* roughly chop a small-medium white onion.
* when the chicken is done brining, preheat oven to 450F.
* on a roasting pan or rimmed baking sheet {apparently not a glass dish. mine cracked in half}, rub extra-virgin olive oil on the chicken, followed by the rub inside + out. stuff the onion inside the chicken.

step 3: the roast
* roast for about 1 hour, and let the bird sit for 15-20 minutes before carving.
* check the chicken after 25 minutes, and call your mom to get her opinion. follow her suggestion to make a foil "tent" if the spices are getting too brown or smoky. rotate the pan once. baste with juices, if you have a baster.
* ENJOY! {and then make sure to save the carcass to make stock!}

                                          {silly picture of my chicken-happy self}


katie anne

p.s.
{if you're interested in learning more about food choices, eating locally, and the impact of industrial food systems on people and the environment - check out a couple of my favorite books: the omnivore's dilemma and in defense of food by michael pollan and animal, vegetable, miracle by barbara kingsolver, as well as my recent post about tomatoland}

keep walking

lately it seems that nearly everyone i talk to is waiting for something. whether it's news about a job interview or a medical procedure, the arrival of a due date (i am surrounded by lots of first-time pregnant ladies), or for depth to develop in friendships; i think we can all agree: waiting is hard. i found this poem several months ago, while anticipating the unknown future after tim's graduation. i'm encouraged to continue walking in faith, focusing more on the here+now rather than the future. i'm relieved to name the fear that can well up within me, when i start trying to figure out the future, which is not for me to grasp. it's always apparent afterward how much growth and beauty comes from waiting... and the challenge is to live out that hope in the process.

keep walking, though there's no place to get to.

don't try to see through the distances,

that's not for human beings.

move within, but don't move the way fear makes you move.

today, like every other day, we wake up empty and frightened.

don't open the door to the study and begin reading.

take down a musical instrument.

let the beauty we love be what we do.

there are hundreds of ways to kneel and kiss the ground.

                                 {rumi}

katie anne

tomatoland

tomatoes are EVERYWHERE: from caprese salads to ketchup on your french fries; thick slices on sandwiches and pureed for my homemade pizza sauce; they form the basis for many favorites like spaghetti with marinara and tomato soup with grilled cheese sandwiches. in salsa? in a pie or crumble? fried green? there is certainly no lack of creativity and variety.

my favorite part of tomatoes is the variety, which you absolutely won't see in a supermarket and sadly will have to wait until next summer's farmer's market to appreciate. they run the spectrum from deep purple to ruby red, orange, yellow, and (some of my favorites) mr stripy and green zebras.

i'm in the middle of reading a book that i can't not share - TOMATOLAND by barry estabrook. in the words of the quote on the front cover: "If you have ever eaten a tomato – or ever plan to – you must read Tomatoland" (ruth reichl). so, i'm going to take some time to share what is uncovered in this book. it's difficult to read (i've cried), but ignorance is not an excuse for participating in slavery, human trafficking, and untold human abuses (not to mention assaults on the environment). my hope is that as you read this, you will be encouraged to take some time to think about the impact your food choices have in the big picture. i recognize that everyone can't afford (or even find) local and/or organic food; however, i believe that those of us who can have a responsibility to work toward positive change for people (and the earth) that can't fight for that themselves. and in the process, maybe our taste buds will thank us, too. my hope is that the more we know, the more we are empowered to make decisions that will bring freedom and life (and FLAVOR!), not just near-sighted cost-saving choices about what we eat.

{the book}


Estabrook chronicles the tomato industry in Florida, which provides most conventional "market fresh" tomatoes year-round (as opposed to California's industry, which provides most tomatoes for canning and has more regulations protecting workers & controlling pesticide use). these tomatoes are picked as underripe, hard, green orbs able to survive being moved and shipped for thousands of miles. they turn reddish when exposed to ethylene gas (it's a hormone that tomatoes naturally excrete in the ripening process. this artificial process gives color but sadly not flavor), and have a shelf-life of about 3 weeks. the Florida Growers Exchange has uber-strict standards about size, smoothness, shape, and color... but notably absent from that list is a consideration of flavor.

the companies that grow tomatoes operate things by hiring Crew Bosses, who in turn hire the actual farm workers. many of these people are migrant workers, often undocumented, following the lure of making decent money to send back to their family in Mexico or Central America. despite their illegal/undocumented status in the US, these are HUMAN BEINGS. made in God's image, just like you and me. there are no excuses for how these people are often treated in the large agribusiness world. between 1997 - 2009, over 1,000 men and women have been freed from slavery in 7 cases. not slave-like conditions or hard work, but human trafficking. slavery. in our nation in the 21st century. for more information about a really amazing coalition of people fighting for better treatment, check out the Coalition of Imokolee Workers (and consider letting YOUR grocery store know that you care).

these folks are also regularly subject to intentional and neglectful exposure to lethal pesticides, including methyl bromide, an extremely toxic chemical that has been phased out by most nations, but is still permitted for tomato and strawberry farming. I find it hard to quite understand pesticide exposure, but one worker in the book described it as being "Just like somebody had taken a big old can of Raid and looked at me and sprayed it right in my face full blast and never stopped until it got empty" (p. 63). this pesticide has been linked with severe birth defects (limbless babies) and infant deaths. horrible, just horrible.

fortunately, there is hope. there are (a few) men and women fighting through law and education and housing to protect basic human rights in agriculture. there are organic and local farms that pay living wages and either don't use pesticides or use them safely. several fast food and food industry businesses have signed on to the CIW's Campaign for Fair Food (incl. Mickey D's, Burger King, Whole Foods, Yum! Brands; sadly few grocery stores).

this issue goes beyond tomatoes: this is just one example of the hidden abuses that are beginning to be brought to life... and how our small choices have big impacts.


katie anne

sources: Tomatoland by Barry Estabrook. Andrew McMeel Publishing: Kansas City, 2011.
              and THIS article also by Estabrook
photos: tim padalino at the charlottesville city market. 2010.

rock.

there is a tantruming kid in the waiting area outside of my office. i've never heard anyone wail NNNOOOOOOoooo" in quite the same way, with such volume and variety. he's probably about 4 or 5, and he is out. of. control. i don't know enough about this child to really know what is going on with him, but one thing is for sure: he is unsteady, ungrounded, flailing at life.

this past weekend, i was that kid. no, i wasn't screaming and yelling and disobeying everything my mom said. but, in my heart, i was flailing around, unsteadied and overwhelmed by things around me. it hit me this morning during breakfast - my eyes have been on the frustrating things in life: job, not going anywhere for labor day weekend, planning an event for church... the list could go on for a while. i've been short tempered and selfish, my vision is short-sighted.

{wow, the kid just left. it is unbelievably quiet in here now ... crazy as it sounds, it was hard to fully appreciate his volume until he left. oh no, just kidding. he's back.}

like this screaming kid, if i'm not grounding myself in something secure and firm, then i will be rocked by everything that comes my way, like a boat at sea. this weekend, i lost sight of God's goodness as my foothold. so the reminder this morning that He sees and knows me, and has my good in mind was life-giving {and attitude-changing, for sure}.

                        "He alone is my rock and salvation, my fortress; i shall not be shaken."
                                                                                                          {psalm 62.2}

katie anne

september and an ode to baking trays.

dear september,
      i'm glad you are here. august has been a busy and, well, interesting month to say the least.  like many east-coasters, i experienced my first earthquake and the subsequent aftershocks {c'ville is a mere 30 miles from the epicenter}. we had visits from both sets of in-laws, celebrated Tim's 27th birthday {complete with the first layer cake i've ever baked}, and took a weekend trip to the desert to visit my sister. work has gotten busy. not great, but for now i'm settling for busy at work.

and so, in honor of september's beginning, i am sharing a toast to my rimmed baking sheet. no real connection, really. just an excuse to share some of the many ways i enjoy my baking sheet with you. please don't get too bored already.

b l u e b e r r i e s / b l u e t s

earlier this summer, our CSA was selling 10-lb boxes of low-spray blueberries. um, yes please. i bought two boxes, but only because i have a small freezer. we'll be eating tasty blueberries all winter long, thanks to the ease of freezing berries. simply spread them out in a single layer on a rimmed baking sheet, put in the freezer for a few hours, then transfer to a gallon-sized freezer bag. easy enough! just make sure to remove any stems or mushy berries. use frozen berries in baking and smoothies or thaw overnight for an antioxidant-rich breakfast topping.

t o m a t o e s  |  h e i r l o o m / g r a p e / y e l l o w

for some reason this summer, i have not had an appetite for raw tomatoes. so, i had to turn to some of my favorite food blogs for some inspiration in using the overabundance of tomatoes we have had this month.

item 1: roasted grape / cherry tomatoes are delicious on pretty much everything, from salads to sandwiches to quinoa dishes. did i mention they are also super easy? step 1: rinse and pat dry. step 2: slice in half. step 3. toss lightly in olive oil and salt. step 4: slow roast at 300F for about 30-40 minutes. that is it. and they keep in the fridge for several days.

item 2: roasted tomato soup from here. yum. i served it with quiche and homemade bread. and once again, thanks to my baking sheet for once again serving up roasted veggie goodness, which this time, got blenderized. {those are some of the yellow tomatoes i mentioned earlier. so sweet and good.}

h a z e l n u t s / f i l b e r t s

sadly, no picture here. but seriously, freshly roasted hazelnuts are beyond good. again, the process is really simple: heat the oven to 325F. spread the hazelnuts on a rimmed baking sheet and roast for 30ish minutes. keep an eye on them - they will fill your kitchen with their earthy aroma and the skins start to crackle and loosen up when they are ready. once done, let them cool for a bit, and if you're up for an annoying, but satisfying challenge, rub the skins off with your hands or a clean kitchen towel. eat 'em straight; on cereal {our favorite, with fresh fruit and greek yogurt}; on salads; or even ravioli pasta salads. aaaand, you're welcome.

enjoy! autumn is on it's way!

katie anne